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I feel like I've spent the whole day sitting in one place, clicking on the computer. Lap Boy hasn't taken a nap until right now (3:45)--I think his gums hurt or something, but man, he sure has been fussy. He was up multiple times in the night, as well as Little Sweetie (stuffy nose) and DH (he threw out his back, went to bed mildly sore, and woke up writhing in pain hours later). So I'm not sure how coherent I am. It's been me holding the baby all day long, and looking at the computer, the only thing he can't rip out of my hands (because it can stand up on its own).
I do want to make a couple of book recommendations for parents, though. I HATE the parenting books that have the basis of, if only you were more righteous (fill in their particular definition of that here), your child would obey your every word. Ditto the ones that prescribe one and only one magic solution. Sure, some kids have issues because of bad parenting, because the parents are "wicked," because the parents are clueless and don't know how to raise them. But for the most part, people have different personalities and ways of learning, and IMO, raising kids has less to do with making robots and more to do with understanding how your child's mind works and preparing them to deal with the challenges they will meet and compensate for/overcome their personal weaknesses so that they can learn to govern themselves. So I really, really like these two books. (They are also useful in dealing with people in general, not just your kids.)
The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross W. Greene.
I really like this book because I have a child with a very low threshold for frustration, and the traditional methods don't work very well (time outs and stickers). She doesn't have meltdowns because she likes to. Or because she doesn't know the rules. She would rather not have them. But she does need help learning how to navigate "nos" and other frustrating situations. The book helps you understand just why your kid acts this way and why some of the popular parenting methods don't work, DOESN'T suggest a one-size-fits-all approach, and teaches you how to teach your kid problem-solving and negotiation. I'm only halfway through, but I feel like I've finally found something that describes my situation. Even the fraction I've read already is proving useful. We just diffused a YouTube/homework situation with what I've learned so far. Excellent!
The other one I really like is this one:
Raising Your Spirited Child, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. This one talks about the kid who is just MORE--more energetic, more sensitive to the feel of different cloth or food, ie, the kid who just sees the world through high-intensity glasses. It's great because it helps you appreciate the unique way s/he sees the world, and focuses on the positive about your kid. It also has ideas for helping them cope with the real world of um, less intense people.
Basically, both of them embrace the idea that humans are individual and that parenting is about teaching strategies, not doling out punishment or remaking your kid into a robot. It's about teaching your kids to govern themselves, an idea I like a lot! So if you are having tantrum issues or just weird kid issues...these may be something for you to check out.
I do want to make a couple of book recommendations for parents, though. I HATE the parenting books that have the basis of, if only you were more righteous (fill in their particular definition of that here), your child would obey your every word. Ditto the ones that prescribe one and only one magic solution. Sure, some kids have issues because of bad parenting, because the parents are "wicked," because the parents are clueless and don't know how to raise them. But for the most part, people have different personalities and ways of learning, and IMO, raising kids has less to do with making robots and more to do with understanding how your child's mind works and preparing them to deal with the challenges they will meet and compensate for/overcome their personal weaknesses so that they can learn to govern themselves. So I really, really like these two books. (They are also useful in dealing with people in general, not just your kids.)
The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross W. Greene.
I really like this book because I have a child with a very low threshold for frustration, and the traditional methods don't work very well (time outs and stickers). She doesn't have meltdowns because she likes to. Or because she doesn't know the rules. She would rather not have them. But she does need help learning how to navigate "nos" and other frustrating situations. The book helps you understand just why your kid acts this way and why some of the popular parenting methods don't work, DOESN'T suggest a one-size-fits-all approach, and teaches you how to teach your kid problem-solving and negotiation. I'm only halfway through, but I feel like I've finally found something that describes my situation. Even the fraction I've read already is proving useful. We just diffused a YouTube/homework situation with what I've learned so far. Excellent!
The other one I really like is this one:
Raising Your Spirited Child, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. This one talks about the kid who is just MORE--more energetic, more sensitive to the feel of different cloth or food, ie, the kid who just sees the world through high-intensity glasses. It's great because it helps you appreciate the unique way s/he sees the world, and focuses on the positive about your kid. It also has ideas for helping them cope with the real world of um, less intense people.
Basically, both of them embrace the idea that humans are individual and that parenting is about teaching strategies, not doling out punishment or remaking your kid into a robot. It's about teaching your kids to govern themselves, an idea I like a lot! So if you are having tantrum issues or just weird kid issues...these may be something for you to check out.
