Aaaauuuugh! Too little sleep, too little time

I dreamed that there were three parts of sleep, and one of them was one you could assign out. My husband and my oldest son had agreed to do a little sleeping for me to help me catch up, and I was just settling down for the major part of sleep, the one only you can do for yourself, when in real life the Lap Boy woke up and said, Play with me! Not that I haven't been awake multiple times a night for the past...I can't remember, actually. But a lot.

Last night I was so tired once the kids FINALLY went to sleep (they wanted a campout in the new tent in the living room, which meant it took a loooooooong time for them to settle down), I just couldn't keep my eyes open to write. I had these great ideas for getting the WIP issues worked out, but I had to shut the laptop before I fell asleep over it, and now I can't remember what it was that was The Solution to Everything. Of course, I also have children reading lyrics to me in Pig Latin, Five Little Monkeys on continuous replay, and a well-rested, squawky Lap Boy who wants to play. I love my kids, I really do. I just wish we all lived in the same time zone and could sleep at the same time.

Year's End

Hm, so now's the time I go back and see what I actually ended up accomplishing this year. Uh, right. Actually it's a bit depressing to look at my goals last year. First, the bad:

1. We are still looking for a tenure-track job. This remains a goal. But now the economy is even worse, and job after job has been frozen as universities find themselves without funds. We still can't throw away our cardboard boxes. :(

2. While I've wow, done a ton of (requested) revisions, revisions that have changed my outlook on writing in general, I still haven't made any external, visible progress. Yes, I would still write even if no one but me read it. That's a part of how my brain works. It's the writing that I'm hooked on, not on "being an author" or "being published." But well, my goal really is to someday publish a novel, and I'm just frustrated with myself because it seems that I still haven't mastered the fifth grade and everyone else my age is going off to college. Every year I learn more, and yet every year, I realize what a huge learning curve I still have. Yes, I know that there is ALWAYS more to learn (good thing, otherwise it would be boring, right?) I realize that there is never a point where you've "made it." It's just that I want to be progressing, and I feel like instead, I'm I don't know, repeating grades or something. For the most part I don't suffer from writer's envy, and I really am glad to see other people having good news! So it's not that. It's just a bit of frustration with myself. And with the present economy, I guess.

3. I wanted a good, long nap. Er...

For the sort-of-good:

4. I wanted to find more balance, and didn't think I'd do that until I got back to the States. And I think that I'm closer, despite the sleepless nights. Germany always ends up being a massively busy time for me whenever we're there. Part of it is that some of the life-maintaining sorts of things just take longer: shopping more often (and on foot), laundry that takes an astronomical amount of time, plus kids coming and going at all times of the day, and that's not even including all of the events we're involved in. So things have been quieter lately. I really miss working with teenagers like I was, but I don't think I could have done that and cared for a newborn, so I'm glad to have the chance to trade responsibilities for a bit. (I still feel extremely homesick for Germany, however.)

5. I wanted to find a way for the kids to keep their German. Need to do better with this, but because we have so many kids, it helps when they are able to talk to each other. So, making progress, but need to be more proactive in this.

Good stuff:

6. I wanted to work hard as a youth leader. Well, I'm pretty sure I wasn't the best leader in the world, but I know I worked hard! And loved it. And miss them.

7. I wanted to read lots of books in English. I did! Around 80 books, I think, most of which were read once we got back here. (I read in German, too, but much more slowly.)

8. I wanted to enjoy the full services of a washer and dryer again. Hooray!

What I did instead of meeting my goals this year:

1. Made another big revision of the first book (instead of finishing the second one, but it prompted a harder revision of second book, so it's a good thing in the end) and sent it off. Still waiting for a response on that.

2. Got back to work on book 2 to keep my mind off book 1.

3. Did some full crits of some great books.

4. Took 50 teens on a week-long trip while 7 months pregnant.

5. Had a baby (20-minute labor--thanks, kid!) in time to get a passport.

6. Somehow managed to move with a 1-month-old baby and four other kids and a husband from Germany to Michigan and from Michigan to Arkansas, all within a week. I still don't know how we managed to survive that. If it wasn't for the help of MANY friends in Germany, it never would have happened. Seriously, that event is basically what cut into me meeting most of last year's goals.

7. Gone back to learning to play the organ. As a friend pointed out, at least this way I can't overdo it on this, seeing as I have access to an organ for one hour a week.

8. Gotten to visit with my parents several times, so the kids can actually get to know their grandparents.

9. Voted in one of the most historic elections of my life (and perhaps of my parents' lives, too).

books read Dec 2008

If I manage to finish any more today I'll come back and add them. For now, here is my December tally:

Ever, Gail Carson Levine
Schooled, Gordon Korman. Funny. This would make a great comedy movie!
Theodosia and the Serpents of Chaos, R.L. Lafevers
Leepike Ridge, N.D. Wilson. I liked how this one was NOT all about getting Johnny to accept a new stepdad.
Oh. My. Gods. Tera Lynn Childs. Sort of a chick lit Percy Jackson
Palace of Mirrors, Margaret Peterson Haddix. Great twist on the hidden princess story.
Elsewhere, Gabrielle Zevin.
The Tales of Beedle the Bard, J.K. Rowling.
Things That Are, Andrew Clements (don't read this one unless you've read the first two, or this won't make much sense)
Dreams from My Father, Barack Obama. Fantastic writing!
Rapunzel's Revenge, Shannon and Dean Hale, ill. by Nathan Hale. (graphic novel) Great pictures, and an awesome heroine.

It's a shorter list than other months--December was crazy!