On teenagers and their relevant adults

So tonight we had the last planning meeting for this upcoming youth trip I'm helping to run. Now that it's done and I'm feeling more prepared, things are less stressful. And of course, once we all get together to plan things for the youth, I remember again why I like to do this, despite the fact that it is basically never convenient. Because teens need adults in their lives who aren't their parents. They still need their parents, and these other adults aren't there to take their place. But they need people a little further on in life who haven't seen them since they were infants and who see them as they are today. Who take them seriously. I believe that who I am today has a lot to do with, not only my parents, but also youth leaders, teachers, band directors, etc. who really cared and who set valuable time aside to spend with teenagers. I realize now how much of a sacrifice they made to do that. I had no idea at the time what it's like to be in some way responsible for teens. But let me assure you that we know our kids, we worry about them, we are concerned when they aren't happy, or have eating disorders or cut themselves. We see kids with great talent but who can't recognize that in themselves, and we try to give them a little push in the right direction, a little trust so they can see their own abilities. Sure, we're planning activities that the youth will enjoy, but there's a lot of personal concern for the individual. When I go to these activities I'm clear that I'm an adult, not trying to be a teen again and speak in slang and all (uh, hard since it isn't my language). But I admit I'm glad when, like the other leaders, they dutzt me (familiar you form) and call me by my first name--because while in some ways we're not equals, in other ways we really are. Last year I had a number of awesome conversations with a 15-year-old writer. We really connected, despite the age difference--she understood me! And I understood where she was coming from. I've talked books with them, school and activities--I love these kids. It doesn't mean I'm not worried about balancing health with chaperoning on this trip, but I know I'll be with people I look up to even though they're half my age.

As to writing for teens, isn't it important, then, what we write? I don't mean in a prescriptive way--but I do mean, tell the truth. About healthy relationships of all kinds. About real consequences. About not making up a fake ending just to force the story the way you want it to go. Like Dumbledore says, the truth is preferable to lies, no matter how comfortable the lie may be. Respect the reader. Give them funny and give them serious. Stories are ways to explore the world and its challenges and to learn so that when you're in that situation, you have information and a vicarious background to draw on, especially when you haven't lived long enough to have had those experiences yourself.

I'm tired and I'm rambling, but I guess I'm just trying to say how lucky I am to work with and write for teens.