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rant--my time is valuable, too!
Feb. 24th, 2007 06:00 pmI know this rant comes up again and again, but today's my turn. You don't have to read if you don't want to.
One of the hardest things about writing is finding uninterrupted time to do it in. Naturally if you decide to have children, you realize that you are willingingly compromising that time for something you believe is even more important than your imaginary friends. I'm okay with that. Exhausted maybe, but okay. What I have a harder time with is adults who think that since you're "not doing anything during the day," you have time to do some of their jobs, too. Uh, no.
This goes for both writers and non-writers: just because someone stays home with their children does NOT mean they are willing or even able to watch your kids for you so you can work, take classes, spend lovely moments at the beach on your own, go shopping, etc. Occasional exchanges are one thing, but for regular child care, I'm not interested. No matter how much you pay me.
I love my kids. I had four on purpose. But the difference between caring for your own children and having a job in childcare is that the people with the job have breaks and go home and sleep. They aren't trying to cook and clean and shop and sleep AND watch kids every second of the day. When you are a mom, there is no "down" time. And doing childcare means that you can't be flexible, can't take your kids somewhere spontaneously, can't run errands that come up suddenly, etc. Sometimes your kids need your undivided attention for their homework, or their worries, and there are only so many hours in the day. I have a number of full-time jobs, actually, none of which earn me visible money. Unfortunately, they have expendable names like "mother," "writer," "volunteer teen counselor." It's come up a number of times in the past 10 years, actually, and I still haven't figured out what to call my job(s) so that people take them seriously.
Possibly this is just me, since I know people who WANT to do childcare in the home, who find it an easy job. (I don't. I find it the hardest thing I've ever done.) I don't want to take business away from those who want it. But...I guess I'm just saying, don't assume. I want to be nice, and I don't want to have to say no. But I really do have to schedule time in the day for work that doesn't look like work. And until I can either clone myself or get some house elves to defect from the Hogwarts kitchens, it's just not going to be possible for me to watch your kids. Anyone else with this problem have a nice-yet-convincing way to say no?
One of the hardest things about writing is finding uninterrupted time to do it in. Naturally if you decide to have children, you realize that you are willingingly compromising that time for something you believe is even more important than your imaginary friends. I'm okay with that. Exhausted maybe, but okay. What I have a harder time with is adults who think that since you're "not doing anything during the day," you have time to do some of their jobs, too. Uh, no.
This goes for both writers and non-writers: just because someone stays home with their children does NOT mean they are willing or even able to watch your kids for you so you can work, take classes, spend lovely moments at the beach on your own, go shopping, etc. Occasional exchanges are one thing, but for regular child care, I'm not interested. No matter how much you pay me.
I love my kids. I had four on purpose. But the difference between caring for your own children and having a job in childcare is that the people with the job have breaks and go home and sleep. They aren't trying to cook and clean and shop and sleep AND watch kids every second of the day. When you are a mom, there is no "down" time. And doing childcare means that you can't be flexible, can't take your kids somewhere spontaneously, can't run errands that come up suddenly, etc. Sometimes your kids need your undivided attention for their homework, or their worries, and there are only so many hours in the day. I have a number of full-time jobs, actually, none of which earn me visible money. Unfortunately, they have expendable names like "mother," "writer," "volunteer teen counselor." It's come up a number of times in the past 10 years, actually, and I still haven't figured out what to call my job(s) so that people take them seriously.
Possibly this is just me, since I know people who WANT to do childcare in the home, who find it an easy job. (I don't. I find it the hardest thing I've ever done.) I don't want to take business away from those who want it. But...I guess I'm just saying, don't assume. I want to be nice, and I don't want to have to say no. But I really do have to schedule time in the day for work that doesn't look like work. And until I can either clone myself or get some house elves to defect from the Hogwarts kitchens, it's just not going to be possible for me to watch your kids. Anyone else with this problem have a nice-yet-convincing way to say no?
